6.19.2014

Sobriquet.


Noun: a person's nickname. 
Somewhere between seventeen and twenty I predominantly stopped referring to the males I met by their true names. Instead I elaborated on some rather obvious aspect regarding their character, mannerism, nationality or look; voila a nickname was born. It just seemed easier when explaining a story to use a detail orientated adjective as an alternative instead of repeatedly clarifying who so and so was. This became a regular thing amongst my friends and I and to this day is still used on the daily.

A glimpse into our repertoire: 

6.18.2014

Cray.


Adjective: another word for crazy. An abbreviation that you can use to describe a crazy person.
  
After meeting a guy in Toronto last month, my best (single) friend spend the last few weeks texting, calling and face timing with this certain male. They seemed to hit it off and she was clearly excited when he finally came to visit last weekend. Let's just say things went sour fairly fast and ended with him profusely apologizing and texting her Sunday morning at seven AM letting her know he was leaving Montreal. As we discussed the unfolding of the events over sun and wine that afternoon, we were inspired to compile the top ten signs that scream CRAY.


6.17.2014

Bedridden.

Adjective: confined to bed by sickness or old age.

I've been in bed for the past forty eight hours; recovering from a uterine polyps hysteroscopy; sounds worse than it is. Although I'm still groggy, in and out of sleep. I've been staring at my computer screen for over fifteen minutes clearly not able to type out anything of much sense. What a perfect opportunity to share some current favourite quotes:

"A woman is not written in braille, you don't have to touch her to know her."
  
"When it's right you can't say who is kissing whom."

"When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you."

"If you're lucky enough to find girl who is a hopeless romantic with a dirty mind, you should hold onto that. Because she'll be yours at two in the morning and at two in the afternoon the following day. She'll kiss you where it hurts and until it hurts. And that's important. Someone who not only knows how to turn you on but also knows how to treat you right is someone worth a little something...and a little more than usual."

"I do not desire mediocre love. I want to drown in someone."

"He kissed like he was drowning and I was air."


Now to make sense of my distraction. Is it caused by the pain killers mixed with yesterday's anesthesia; or could my mind be preoccupied with a certain male I've recently met?
Merde.

6.11.2014

Twosome.

Noun: a pair of people considered together.

As Lana Del Ray sings, I am convinced that the world was built for two; sadly the older I get the more apparent it becomes. Visibly since more and more the ones around me are forming pairs and leaving me in the dust. Kidding, I take ninety percent responsibility for my single status. Regardless of who or what is at fault, it's increasingly becoming discouraging. To add to the long list of reasons why it sucks to be single, as of recently I have discovered something new. Groupons.

Somewhere along the way I assume I signed up to receive email after email of groupons. Rather than immediately place them in my junk folder, I tend to glance at the offers on a daily basis. The truth is, there are some really great deals out there. The problem is that the majority of them are often for a group of two. In all fairness, this halts my want of spontaneity as I can hardly ever make a purchase before first confirming with a friend if they would like to join me on the escapade. All because I'm single. When you're in a relationship you have a constant plus one. Even if the boyfriend may not want to participate in the sunset picnic dinner included with an afternoon of horseback riding, sexual favors can always sway a man ;)

I'm considering making some purchases and attempting to use them alone. Why should the couples have all the fun?

Wine tasting for one please.

What are you doing this weekend? I'm going on a romantic getaway by myself.

I know the meal is for two, can't you see my imaginary boyfriend?!

Merde.
 
 

6.10.2014

Antsy.

Adjective: agitated, impatient, or restless.

The essence of my feelings as of lately. I've been aching for the days to go by faster yet I complain that time goes by too quick. I crave spontaneity although I'm addicted to everyday routine. House Hunters International is the excitement I get in a day. I need a surprise.
I'm surrounded by plans of weddings and babies; and I'm just here. Or so it seems. I'm not bitter, just bored. Isn't there a saying, you're not bored you're boring? I guess I could be boring? Through all of this, you'll never believe what bothers me the most...my deceased sex life. Isn't it sad to be wasting your days without it? Maybe that is exactly my problem. Lack of love. Did you know that in order for personal growth one should receive ten hugs per day? My endorphins need releasing.
Conclusion: I need a man to occupy my feelings... ;)
Merde.


6.07.2014

Peur.

Origin French. Noun: fear, dread, fright.

What would life be like if fear was invisible? I often find myself in the middle of a situation questioning why I was scared in the first place. Technically I am not entirely at fault; fear is an emotion provoked by intimidation. The consequence is a shift in brain and body function which ultimately leads to a change in behaviour. Therefore I'd like to conclude that fear is an uncontrollable sentiment; I've always believed that humans cannot control their feelings (yet we try so hard to). So the real question is, why am I threatened by dating, relationships and love?
As discussed yesterday with a (newly engaged) good friend, we've all experienced that one horrible break up. The one where you felt like life was ending and there was no way you could move on. The one that broke your heart into a million little pieces and it seemed like forever before they were band aid together again. Of course this occurrence would cause one to cage their heart up, shielding it from ever coming close to that vulnerability again. BUT, we do not control our feelings, therefore we all go through heartache again. Numerous times even. I like to say that I don't make the same mistake twice; I make it three, four, even five times over again. Every time surviving.

So why am I still protecting my heart with so much force?
Merde.