4.22.2014

Future.

Noun: the time or a period of time following the moment of speaking or writing; time regarded as still to come.

In the past years, I have stopped envisioning myself having a traditional wedding. Probably because I've attended too many weddings to appreciate the customs any longer. Although, to a certain extent it's because I believe that the meaning gets lost in the wedding. A marriage is between two individuals and shouldn't require any fancy adornments. Which brings me to my new found dream of eloping; I've always been smitten with the idea of getting hitched in Vegas. I imagine it is the most fun a wedding can get with minimal (if any) planning needed; completed with a bottle of champagne to toast with afterwards; glasses not necessary. Don't be insulted if you are family or friend, but I wouldn't even send out initiations. In less than forty-eight hours I will be in Vegas for the first time in my life. I will be accompanied by three of my best friends (seventeen years and counting) and we will be celebrating our turning thirty this year. What I had hoped for was to possibly be married (or engaged...ok at least in a long-term relationship) by the time I turned thirty. Fortunately, I am still three months away from that date.

Therefore, I have already forewarned my mother that I may come back married. I realized that I have (unintentionally) packed two white dresses. If I happen to meet a dashing man who (drunkenly) proposes to me, I may end up saying yes. Coincidently I will be surrounded by three of my longest friendships to give me their approval. I just hope we are all sober enough to make the right choice or else I may get married and divorced before I turn thirty.

Merde.

 

4.16.2014

Tease.

Verb: To arouse hope, desire, or curiosity in without affording satisfaction

As I complained about a guy on Tinder who had been rampantly messaging me in regards to meeting I couldn't help but cringe at my listener's reply: But Tinder issss about meeting!

Touché.

At this moment I was forced to face the fact that I am probably my own worst enemy when it comes to meeting men. For instance, it is time to admit that merely having the Tinder app is NOT effort enough. Considering that when I am not repeatedly  pressing X, the majority of the situations carry on as the below:
Like photo - match with male - male messages something lame like Hi, Hey, What's up or How are you?-  never respond. 

I can only be blamed partially as we have already discussed that receiving a message of HI is not attractive in the least.

Let's look at case number two. Remember the guy from a few weeks ago who practically had me out of my clothes begging for a second date? Well, he has asked; numerous time. I can't seem to want to give up my pyjamas and Grey's Anatomy to actually go through with it though. I'd rather stay home on a Saturday night watching Julia Roberts movies than go meet a decent man for a glass of wine. Can someone please explain what is wrong with me?

I feel as though I took a step in the right direction today and gave eager Tinder guy my phone number. My friend's brother played hockey with him years ago; he seems legit. The problem is he asked if he could take me out next Tuesday and I've already managed to compile faux plans. Tuesday is in six days, I can't commit to a decision just yet.

Whatever, dating sucks, I'm going to go read my book with a glass of wine in a bubble bath.
#SingleForLife.
Merde.

 
 

4.06.2014

Counterfeit.

Adjective: made in exact imitation of something valuable or important with the intention to deceive or defraud.

It is April 2014 and girls everywhere are actively posing à la duck face; I doubt this tragedy will ever vanish. What really makes my heart cringe are those ladies who have moved on from this fad because they have invested in lip injections; leaving their mouths more or less in a constant duck face position. WHY?
Faux lips are increasingly becoming popular with ordinary women. Ordinary implies NOT a real housewife. Furthermore, the females undergoing this apparently easy procedure are gradually becoming younger. Montreal is not a huge city. I cannot be the only individual who has come across a photo of someone they once knew who now has a bigger (phony) pout. Again, WHY?
Dear women with the fake lips. Do you genuinely believe that your abnormally puffy mouth is attractive? Moreover, do you think others believe your lips are real? I am not against plastic surgery. I do, however, oppose extreme measures which leave you looking absurd. Regardless, I surely hope that your new lips give you the confidence you obviously lacked with your natural face. I will not blame you (entirely); let's allow society to take some responsibility.

I hope karma doesn't kick me for this one.
Merde.
 
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