8.31.2013

Sapphist.



Web Definitions: (sapphism) lesbianism: female homosexuality.

I’m not one to indulge in free drinks from the opposite sex while out, unless I’m truly interested in conversing with them or I actually know them.  I’m not a very good actress and I’d rather not spend my time pretend flirting and make believing I’m actually absorbed in a discussion I could do without. In the end I am quite capable of buying my own drinks.
Yet, one long weekend this past June, we found ourselves being bombarded by males inviting us to drink at their tables. After politely declining for the first portion of the night, we decided only a fool would continue to refuse. So we decided to join an out of town bachelor party. It didn’t take long before I realized that the majority of the bachelor party might be single and looking for some after party fun. Clearly not interested, I spontaneously decided to embark on an experiment.
“Would you believe me if I told you we were actually lesbians?”
The great thing about best friends is they usually play along with almost anything you say. The two guys we were talking to looked at us blankly while we kept a straight face. I believe they asked us to make out, and after I very seriously told them we had nothing to prove, one guy lost interest and left. The remaining guy seemed rather fascinated, asking us how long we had been dating, if we lived together, bla bla bla. He then, out of nowhere, tried to kiss my “girlfriend”. She immediately backed away and very calmly stated that what he had just attempted was extremely rude. He apologized.
As the night progressed so did our intoxication level. We left the bachelor party and found some of our friends. I won’t lie, everything else is a bit of a blur; until the end of the night. He (the guy who earlier tried to kiss her) first came out to my friend . He was gay. All of a sudden his voice did seem a little feminine, and he had a slight flip to his hair I didn't notice before. I’m not quite sure if maybe his friends didn’t know. They were all old friends from high school, but he now lived in California while they were from Boston. He told us we were an awesome couple, and if we ever visited Cali we should call him and he’d take us to the best gay bar in Orange County; we’d totally fit in. He gave me his card. Although I was drunk, I felt horrible for lying to this person who was being so genuine with us. At this point it was in everyone’s best interest to keep up the charade, so I asked him why he tried to kiss my girlfriend if he wasn’t actually into females. He confessed that it was a test. He’s witnessed his straight friends with girls, and girls will do anything, including kiss a stranger, for free drinks. I couldn't help but laugh. If only he knew...

If you clicked this post with the anticipation that I was actually coming out of the closet, I apologize. Though it would be great reasoning for my long term single status, men are my weakness.
Currently one (oblivious) man in particular.
Merde.



8.26.2013

Mon-Day.


Also known as Monday.

This Monday is rough; worse than normal for more reasons than one.
And because my brain is too non-functional to write, I’ll share some of my current favorite writings found on Tumblr.

Have you ever felt a potential love for someone?
Like, you don’t actually love them and you know you don’t, but you know you could. You realize that you could easily fall in love with them. It’s almost like the bud of a flower, ready to blossom but it’s just not quite there yet. And you like them a lot, you really do. You think about them often, but you don’t love them. You could, though. You know you could. (http://nonelikejesus.tumblr.com/)

Be the kind of friend that you want to have.
This is what it all boils down to. Listen when they bitch. Tell them they’ll be okay. Go over and check in on their cat when they’re on vacation. Call them on their birthday, or better yet bake a cake in the shape of their initial. Keep their secrets. Treat them like what they are—the rare person in this world who gives a f* about you not because they have to, but because they want to. Give a f* about them.
(http://crystalshoener.tumblr.com/)

i want a late night adventure. i want someone to call me up and say, “i’m outside. let’s go do something!” i want to go out late at night in my pj’s and my hair all tied up. maybe drive around. go to a park and just swing on the swings. maybe sit in the grass and watch the stars or maybe go to a 24 hour food place and pig out. i just want a late night adventure with people i like to be around. no drama. nothing but good vibes and good company. (http://nuded.tumblr.com/)

8.16.2013

Taste.



Verb: Perceive or experience the flavor of.

Out of sight out of mind versus absence makes the heart grow fonder. I have never been able to decide which I agree with most. If I could equally agree with both I would. However I believe they somewhat contradict one another; makes sense considering I often do.

I regularly crave stuff. I think it’s a normal habit. The problem is when you eventually give in to the temptation. That one occurrence begins to take over your thoughts and soon all you can think of is indulging again. 

Have I mentioned that sexual tension is the best aphrodisiac?
Merde.



8.12.2013

Aphrodisiac.

Noun:
1. A food, drink, or drug that stimulates sexual desire.
2. A thing that causes excitement.

Friday night was reserved for a girl’s date at LaChampagnerie. Being late for our reservations (a horrible habit of mine), we were placed at a table in the back of the room. This wasn’t a night for socializing with strangers, so it was no bother to us. However, we were seated next to a couple clearly on a date...

It was hard to say if it was a first date as neither party seemed overly awkward or nervous. Being someone who rarely (pretty much never) goes on dates, I often find myself in awe when witnessing a date in action. For some reason I just want to stare and watch the process unfold. The female companion looked rather smitten with the entire experience yet it was probably because her date was making the night out to be quite the ordeal. First off, he ordered a bottle of champagne. I didn’t catch which bottle it was, but when the couple arose and followed the sommelier to the front of the establishment we knew that he was going to saber the bottle; a traditional technique which is offered when you purchase a bottle of champagne. Show off move number one? The bubbly was followed by a decent amount of oysters and the next thing you know they are in a full blown make out session over the table. Although shocked, I didn’t pass any judgements; Champagne has and probably always will make me do crazy things as well. The intense show of PDA was interrupted by chocolate covered strawberries. Talk about working hard for what you want. I only make that comment because soon after we overheard the male ask “Do you want to come to my place after this?” They then moved to a standing position near a more upbeat section, away from the tables, and continued to bump and grind while making out. A few more minutes and they disappeared.  

I must say, after clearly inspecting the entire rendezvous, I wouldn’t mind engaging in some high class courting in return for some good sex; apart from the fact that the entire situation may be a little too Pretty Woman-ish. Though, in the end, he does get the girl.
Merde.


8.07.2013

Libido



Noun: Sexual desire.

I found it ironic that in the past two weeks I’ve had numerous (girl) friends comment on the fact that they seem to have a higher sex drive than their boyfriends. I won’t lie, I was a little appalled to hear this. I vaguely remembered something about sex ed class concerning the sexual peak of men versus woman, and so I began my research. I came across endless debates about the topic and very few facts.
So although testosterone levels reach their high point around age eighteen for males, a woman’s estrogen (and fertility for that matter) only hit that same mark during late twenties early thirties.What makes teenage boys and woman of my age so horny is in fact caused by these high hormone levels; our bodies simply respond quicker to stimulation.
I never actually suspected this would cause real life issues. I assumed that men stayed sex obsessed forever. However, after the third friend confirmed the same conclusion, that she wants sex more than her boyfriend, I realized that (regrettably) my theory was somewhat flawed. Once upon a time someone in a (very) long term relationship stated that three times a week was satisfying; saying that quality was better then quantity.  I was confused. If you are amongst your best match (as one should be when living together) shouldn’t sex always be of good quality? Also, isn’t everything about sex a positive? It lowers stress, boosts immunity, burns calories, reduces pain, allows for a better sleep session and overall makes you a happier person.

 In addition to all these thoughts and concerns on this topic, I’ve realized that I’m probably wasting my sexual apex on being single and celibate.
Merde.